Friday, May 21, 2010
http://sg.yfittopostblog.com/2010/05/20/greater-gender-equality-the-key-to-singapores-big-baby-problem/
Gender equality the key to Big Baby problem?
Refering to the news above... honestly i think it is not about gender... it is really more about $$$$ and time...
though time had changed, some things dun... Men do need to play a part in taking care of children BUT men here were brought up generally having the thots of taking care of the family by earning money... i dun mean to sound sexist... but i feel tat women were not like before... many a time, men can do better housework them women while the women go out partying... many a time, women can work harder/earn more than their husbands while the men stay home to look after kids... but it all boils down to wat kind of person u marry and hw u manage your marriage.. how u take a stand on who is gonna do wat in the family... marriage, family is all about give and take...
y let others decide/comment on who is taking better care of the babies??? Wf sleeps when i have to wake up to make milk / change Asher's diapers in the middle of the nite... but he noes tat i get very tired when it's time to wake up for work... he will take the initiative to go bathe first so tat i can slp for awhile longer... although wat i feel is tat both genders have a part to play in taking care of the baby TOGETHER.. after all, without togetherness, hw to create the baby in the first place....
Back to the topic - Solution to Singapore's Big Baby Problem?
To be really honest, having a baby/child is not very difficult... the difficult part is the time and money...
TIME... i agree with some of the comments written... Fathers were not given enough paternity leave... whenever i need to bring Asher to see doctor, Wf have to take his annual/child care leaves until he have got no leave left... if only we can have shorter working hours like Australia, if only everyone dont work on weekends so that parents can accompany their children, if only work ends at 5pm and you dun have to feel guilty for leaving on the dot... if only dun have to worry you will be the next to be sacked becos u leave work on the dot... if only all these "if only" can be fulfilled, i am pretty sure Singapore may see a slight increase in birth rates...
do u have enough money for children??? from the day you found out abt the pregnancy, to the day you deliver, to the day the baby becoming an infant, to a toddler, to a child, to go to school, to a teen, to all the milestones, to the day the child becomes an adult, getting a job, getting married... till then... MONEY is always an issue... All of us have to work so hard... long hours at work... no extra pay... costs of living increasing all the time... pay dont increase as much, not increasing at all... all this cost money... tat is exclusive of medical fees, employing of maid, sending the child to child care, etc etc... All these mentioned for normal child... If your child has special needs, wat are all the other extra costs??? Not forgetting other expenses... cost of house, cost of transports... having one child oredi cost so much, hw to afford more children??? Even holidays.... Of cos as parents, we hope to give our children the best we can... giving them a chance to excel in watever they are good at... giving them a chance to travel to look at things to see things thru their own eyes and ears... if we have more children, all the chances will have to be divided to smaller portions.. chances reduced... and all these cause GUILT... guilt to us, the parents... y cant we work harder to afford better things for our children??? but the fact is, we are all working hard... until we dun even have time to see our children growing up... wat's the point of having children and not seeing them grow??? wat's the point of earning money enough to let our children go to school and end up you dunno wat's going on in yr children's lives????
From a middle income family point of view.... be it a dual income family or a single income family... it is all the same... dual income you may have money for your children's schooling but u nv have enough time to accompany yr children.. no time to participate in their growing up... having strangers/others being part of their growing up, this only builds the foundation of weak relationship between the parents and children ...
single income, they may save on maid, on child care centre but they may not have enough money to let their children take up extra curriculums which they may excel in.. one side of the parents may be always there looking after the children, guiding them... but that is the case ONLY if money is still flowing in every month... *touch wood* wat if the income suddenly reduced?? be it retrenchment, jobless, loss of income due to unforseen circumstances???
this is a my point of view on my part for general reasons y birth rates here are so low... Seeing the stress we are already facing now, you tink we can/shd give birth??? future generations still wanna give birth??? after one whole day at work, you juz wanna go home and sleep... Time and Money... we need them both in order to have more children and balanced happy family life... without the time, you cant be with those you love... family with financial problems usually strained on the family relation... indirectly causing increased rate of divorce...
we need some help here...
Y7:50 AM
